Loading ...
Tiger Woods: What He Probably Won’t Say At His Press Conference
Tiger Woods: What He Probably Won’t Say At His Press Conference
Friday, disgraced golfer Tiger Woods will address the media to apologize for what he’s calling “transgressions,” although some would describe his behavior as immoral, abusive, and evil.
The press conference, if you can call it that, will be held at the TPC Sawgrass clubhouse and will be carried by several networks.
Friday, Tiger Woods will make his first public appearance in three months.
However, the only press invited to attend are the wire services The Associated Press, Reuters, and Bloomberg. These entities are barred from asking questions. Basically, Woods will be speaking to a camera.
Like any selfish abuser, Woods is only surrounding himself with fawning acolytes. Only specially chosen friends, colleagues, and close associates will be in attendance. His behavior won’t be questioned. His words won’t be challenged.
It’s unknown whether or not his wife will be there.
As you can see, Woods has crafted a situation in which he is in complete control. Certainly the same will apply to his words. Therefore, Bombastic Sports has compiled a list of things we don’t expect Woods to say at his press conference.
Things Tiger Woods Probably Won’t Say At His Press Conference
- “I was taking the Nike slogan of ‘just do it’ literally.”
- “I’m better than all of you and I can do whatever I want.”
- “I want to introduce you to my new line of Gatorade now with antibiotics.”
- “I’m really getting into the last season of Lost.”
- “It depends on your definition of “having sex with those 14 women who claim they’re my mistresses.”
- “I have two years, three tops, before my penis falls off.”
- “I’m not really addicting to sex just to the cuddling afterwards.”
- “If there’s one thing Sanford taught me ‘it’s the bitches that will git’chas.’”
- “Anyone get her number?”
- “I’m into some real kinky stuff. Sometimes I even freak myself out.”
- “It wasn’t that I thought I could deceive everyone forever, it’s was just that I thought I could deceive everyone forever.”
- “Come on, who are we kidding here? You all want my life. I’m Tiger frickin’ Woods.”
- “I’m remorseful.”
